Dear Men Who Think All Women are Crazy,
How’s it going? Didn’t call that girl back after waiting 3 dates to sleep with her because she’s “crazy” because she texted you the next day? Cool.
You know, sir, women often get a bad wrap. We’re always being told that we’re crazy. The problem is that we think too much about our relationships and dates because, the truth is, we’re wired to want to try and find love. Yes, we can have casual sex and yes, we can have fun and not get attached all the time, but when things are going well and then I don’t hear from a guy for three days only to get a completely normal, “Hey gorgeous, would you like to have dinner Tuesday night?” It really freaks me out. Because this entire time I’ve been sitting here, thinking about you, trying not to text you, and wondering if you’ve completely lost interest. Maybe it isn’t your fault, maybe you’re just clueless, but these games are ridiculous and I hate playing them. So you know what?
Yes, I’m crazy.
Women are all kinds of insane. We all are. The more quickly we embrace it, the more adept we’ll be at covering it up. It’s kind of terrible that our culture deems us all crazy. Because what we really are is emotional, complicated, loving creatures who are in relationships with highly less emotionally-evolved men. Instead, their complete lack of understanding or consideration for our feelings makes us the crazy ones. Because we expect to be contacted regularly and treated with kindness and respect, we’re crazy and they’re sane. We’re too emotional and they’re just treating the situation normally.
And yes, we do overthink things, and we are trying to make sense of everything you say and to decode every little hidden message in every text even though it’s nonexistent. We’re just wired that way. We’re terrified of getting hurt so we look for the tiniest thing to go wrong so that we have an excuse to be unhappy in the situation. We don’t bounce back as easily as you if we’ve put time and dedication into forming something real and tangible only to have it blow up in our faces. Yes, we’re strong, resilient creatures. We are fierce and we are a force, but we’re fragile too, and our hearts need caring for.
It all stems from that stomach-flip feeling of really liking someone. The feeling you get when you’re laughing at all of their jokes, holding hands and thinking, “Wow, this person is really great.” Being excited about love is the most amazing feeling in the world and it’s hard not to be over the top about it. I try to be rational about things, but women lead with their hearts, not their heads. We have to constantly check our every move because we don’t want to spook you and seem “crazy.”
So, we text all of our girlfriends and gay friends and try to make sense of every situation, of every text message, of every word you say because we can’t possibly talk to you about it. We’ll screen shots our messages and ask what to say back to you so we can seem like we’re really “cool.” So, you’re only texting us every few days because you’re not even thinking twice about it because we’ve made you think that this is fine with us. I claim some responsibility in all of this because you’re unaware of how women feel because we leave you so completely unaware of how we feel. Nobody wants to be crazy, and that’s what being truthful would mean, it would make us sound crazy. So, once again, yes I’m crazy.
It’s really hard admitting this to you. I mean, after all, you’re only just now being told that all women are “crazy” and the ones who don’t seem crazy are just the ones who are really good at faking it. We’re the ones who have really great friends to look at the situation completely rationally because they themselves have no stakes and can advise with their heads instead of their hearts. Yes, we’re talking about that last text message, and yes we’re wondering what it all means, because as hard as it may be for you to understand this, we actually really like you and we like thinking about you. If that makes us crazy then I don’t want to be sane.
You know what? I’ve been on a million dates, swiped right enough on Tinder, pretended to be who I am not for long enough. It’s exhausting. Yes, I’m crazy. You can’t deal? Well, you probably aren’t worth it anyway because someone who was really worth it would want me as I am.
I’m so sick of being punished by you for giving a shit. Because you know what? I actually do give a shit.
Where would we be if women just completely stopped caring? So much compassion and loving would be stripped from this world. Maybe you think we care too much and maybe we do, but that’s just the way it is. I’m sorry for you because you can’t get in touch with your emotions enough to just be open about the way you feel and I’m sorry that you’re not daring enough to feel as deeply I do and to want something concrete and real. But, I bet if you think hard enough, you probably do too.
So here I am, openly admitting it because I do have a heart and I do think about love all the time: Yes, I’m crazy.