There has been a question burning on my mind for an absurdly long time. Honestly, it’s something that’s really starting to upset me.
What is with the sex tips that are given to men? In my personal experience, as a young, single woman in her twenties, I’d have to estimate that about 98 percent of men have absolutely no idea what they are doing in the bedroom and apparently didn’t learn a damn thing in anatomy class either.
I constantly find myself wondering — under the certain obvious circumstances: Why is he doing that? Does he think that’s where that is located? What is he doing down there?
One of the funny things about it is that it isn’t just men giving other men horrible advice, there are plenty of women out there, at very noteworthy publications, who are giving men misleading, stupid and, quite honestly, gross tips on how to please a woman.
Herein lies the main dilemma. Yes, there are lots of fun things about sex and many things our partners can do that we ladies will greatly appreciate. Everyone’s got his or her jam, and that’s totally normal and healthy.
Whatever you’re into, the point really is that there aren’t that many tips that can be given because it’s really not that hard to provide an orgasm. I know. Mind blowing news!
The sex tip industry (if that’s what you’d even call it) is really scraping for new and interesting things to tell men (and women) to please their partners.
It’s easy to get angry and frustrated by this unfortunate ignorance, but look at whom they’ve been learning from: bad sex tips and pornography.
If men are constantly being told that we like certain things that we find weird or that something is located where it actually isn’t, well, then aren’t they the ones being misled in the first place? It’s not even their fault that so many of them are clueless because they’ve been taught the wrong things.
I’m not meaning to say that all women are amazing in the bedroom. There are certain things that I’m completely baffled by. And guess what? That’s because we’ve been hoodwinked, too!
We often blame pornography and bad sex advice for our lack of communication with each other. It’s easy to blame guys and ourselves for not having a great understanding of the other person’s wants and desires.
There is really only one solution to this unhappy situation: We have to talk to each other. We have to really talk to each other.
A man is never going to know what you want unless you tell him and it’s obviously a lot easier to just take the advice of dirty movies and men’s (and women’s) magazines and hope for the best.
Without communication, there is no way that this problem can be fixed. We’ll keep trolling through sex tips on the Internet and frequenting pornographic material in a blind search for sexual understanding.
In such a vulnerable situation, asking for what you want can be scary, but if you don’t ask, you won’t receive. As Generation-Y, as young adults, still trying to figure out who we are, it can be difficult to understand another person and feel comfortable enough to seek that understanding.
The human condition is generally receptive and obviously as much as you want to please your partner, your partner wants to please you, too.
So, take the leap, have a discussion, and stop listening to other people who don’t know what they’re doing (probably because they read bad sex tips from someone else, too).