Bottom line. You are the only one who’s with you in the end. So love you more.
You may have someone there who loves you, but, then again, maybe you don’t. bottom line. You will always have you. You are the goddess of your own universe. You are the main thing that makes you happy. Your feelings, your joys, the things that uplift you are yours alone. Yes, we all want someone to share them with, but not everyone finds someone to do that with. As long as you have you, and you know that you are the most important thing to yourself, you will find happiness and be whole.
Of course, there is nothing wrong with loving someone. Even loving so much that it hurts. Loving someone so much that you can hardly imagine loving anything more than that person. But. You have to love yourself more.
My mother always said, “marry a man who you love more than life, but make sure he loves you more than you love him.” I like to think that she meant that you have to love yourself more than you love a man. We need those walls. That age-old advice to let them go is somewhat true but you do need some protection no matter what, the protection of loving yourself, of always putting yourself first.
Maybe that’s selfish but I promise you that if you can come to terms with that, that you are the center of your universe, then you will be happy and be fulfilled. Your life will find completeness.
There is a somewhat sad children’s book by Shell Silverstien that actually can teach you a lot about the realities of life and of love. It’s about a shape who spends his entire life trying to find his missing piece. He comes across many pieces in various sizes and colors but none of them fit. Finally, after a lifetime of searching, a lifetime of being unhappy and broken, he realizes that his missing piece was with him all along and that the only thing he needed was to love himself to be happy. You are your missing piece. You are what you are missing in your life. We are told constantly that if we don’t find our “soulmate” we will never be complete and our lives will never be whole. I say fuck that. I say you are your soulmate.
There is no one on this earth that I will ever love more than me.
You can share your thoughts and feelings to someone, you can tell them your hopes and desires and they can listen with a quiet and understanding ear, but you’re the only one who is thinking or feeling those things. How can anyone be as close to you as you are to yourself?
I recently came to the understanding that I am probably going to die alone. For a while I was devastated and would cry myself to sleep every night feeling a sinking feeling in my chest and an emptiness that cannot even be described in words.
This may seem like a bizarre and irrational conclusion for a twenty-two year old to come to, but I believe that not everyone can find a soulmate and I don’t think I have one. It’s not that I feel I’m undeserving of love, it’s that I know I can be happy being alone. I can make a life for myself with another person. If someone out there is not going to fall in love and get married, let it be me. I can hold my own. I can handle anything.